Secrets Of The Past
by densilove13
Summary: Kensi and Deeks are sorting their stuff ready to move into their new house, when Deeks find Kensi's journal from her childhood days. Deeks reads it and certain secrets come out which may just cause some serious issues between Kensi and Deeks. Will they be able to work it out or will everything fall apart?
1. Chapter 1

Deeks Finds Kensi's journal from when she was younger and certain secrets come out which may just cause issues between Kensi and Deeks. Will they be able to work it out or will everything fall apart.

* * *

Deeks and Kensi had just bought their first house together. It met all the criteria, close to the beach for when they went surfing, close enough to OSP so they could stay in bed longer in the mornings too. It was all so exciting but the hard work wasn't going to do itself. Kensi and Deeks would have to sort their stuff and decide what they were going to keep. They had already sorted Deeks' house and it was already sold. Kensi's had been left until last because of her notorious legends of being a hoarder.

Deeks and Kensi were cleaning out Kensi's attic when Deeks came across a box with '**past**' written across it. It was sealed just like Kensi was about her past. Deeks lifted the box, pulled out his switch knife and opened it. He carefully opened the flaps and peered inside. There was alot of old clothes and toys. But one thing caught his eye. There was a book. It had roughed up edges and dirt covering it, not like any of the other books in the box.

Deeks pulled out the box. He placed the box down and analysed the book. It looked like a note pad. He unwound the twine around it and opened the book. The first page Said "Kensi Marie Blye's Journal." Kensi had only briefly spoke about said journal. Deeks had said he had read it but he hadn't really. And neither had Eric.

Deeks move into a comfortable position. He really wanted to read it and find out about Kensi's past but he didn't want to invade Kensi's privacy by reading it. They had worked to hard on their relationship and he didn't want to mess it up now. Deeks decided he would ask her if he could read it later for now he just kept sorting. An hour later and many boxes loaded in the van they went to their new house to unpack. When the boxes were unpacked and organised to where they were going Kensi and Deeks sat down for a rest.

"Kensi. I found this earlier." he started, pulling out the journal. "I didn't read it but I would like to. But it is completely your call." Kensi nodded. "Deeks, you can read it because I trust you and I thinks its time you know everything." Deeks took Kensi's hand in his and kissed it. "I love you." He said. "I love you too." she replied. They snuggled up with one another until the late hours of the evening. The past would just have to wait a little longer.


	2. The first entry

That night Deeks didn't sleep brilliantly. He couldn't stop thinking of Kensi's past, all he needed to do was read that little book. He got up out of bed, untangling himself from Kensi. He walked into the living room and picked up the book he left on the table. He picked it up and headed out to the front porch which overlooked the sea. He sat on the swing seat and watched the sun rise over the calm sea. He breathed in and opened the book to the first page.

_OMG I can't believe my mom bought me this book. I mean who would want to write their feelings down in some crummy book. I suppose it may come in handy in the future. I don't hate it. I know my mom doesn't want me to keep it all in because last time that happened I had my mental break down. The doctor probably told my mom that I either need to talk about my feelings or write them all down, so here it is mom. I'm writing my feelings down. Not that it will stop me from having break downs._

_I'm a bit upset dads still away and mom keeps saying he will be home soon but he still isn't home and I miss him like hell. Mom has been on my case all the time and it is starting to drive me crazy. I mean who can live with someone who is totally obsessed with keeping you at arm's length. That's the only reason I like school. I'm not with her 24/7. My dad helps keep me calm, he still doesn't know about the mental breakdown. He is scheduled to call us later, no doubt mom will tell him about it. But at least I will get to talk to him._

_I think that is one of the reasons for the breakdown in the first place. I was reading a letter from my dad and my mom was shouting me. She was telling me to do my homework. I went to my desk to get started. When I sat down I just stared at the book. I had been staring at it for hours but I hadn't done anything. Mom came up and started moaning at me saying "Your dad wouldn't be happy knowing you aren't applying yourself." I just lost it. How could she say that my dad wouldn't be happy with me? I mean seriously, he hasn't been here for 6 month and she knows I'm struggling with it all and she's goes off at me. I wasn't just going to stand there and let her have a go at me. No! I ran out of that house, grabbing my bag that I had ready for this occasion and just kept running._

_A little while later my mom and a couple of other families from the base came out looking for me. I was down at the Lake House and Kyle and Cody, his brother, found me. We had been friends for a while and I told them that I didn't want to go back yet. Kyle text his mom to let them know I had been found and i was alright. He told them that we would come back in a bit, that they wanted to make sure I was not having a breakdown. We sat by the lake, dipping our feet in, watching the water pool around them. Kyle asked me if I was alright but I couldn't answer that. I told him I would tell them when I was. About an hour later we went home and mom was on the couch waiting for me._

_I walked over to her and sat next to her. I told her I was sorry and cuddled into her. "I miss him too. And I'm sorry I went off at you. I know his hasn't been easy on you, growing up without your dad." A tear slipped down my face, I brushed it off before my mum saw it. The computer beeped and we raced over to it. It was Dad. He popped up on the screen. "Dad, I missed you." It was all I could say. He was saying about how he misses us and how he would be home soon. My mom didn't tell my dad about my meltdown. After we spoke with dad, mom told me that we would see how we went with dealing with it and he didn't need to know until it was a real issue. I'm really glad mom didn't tell dad, I wouldn't want to worry him._

"Wow" Deeks said finishing up the first entry. Kensi walked out and sat next to him. "I couldn't sleep knowing that you were going to let me in and I would finally get to know about your past." Deeks explained. Kensi smiled at him, leaning her head against his shoulder and looking out to sea.


End file.
